Terry Collins Wins Cage Match, Will Manage Mets In 2011

Thousands of fans in attendance at the Citi Field parking lot witnessed the dawn of a new era on Sunday afternoon when Terry Collins won the Managerial Deathmatch and emerged from the Thunderdome the next manager of the New York Mets.

According to witnesses the fight turned when someone dropped a chainsaw in the cage.  Collins, being the first to reach it, was able to defeat Hale and Melvin with it.  Backman got a hold of the chainsaw momentarily but was stunned when Collins used some kind of dog whistle thing on him. Collins then got a hold of a big mallet and bashed Backman's head in.

Can this outlander put this Mets team in his magical flying machine and lead them to the promised land?  Only time will tell. 

One thing is certain though.  Tonight, Terry Collins Rules Bartertown!

All articles featured on The Apple are fictitious. No Mets were harmed in the writing of this story. The Apple does not endorse deathmatches of any kind.

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