Mets Game Postponed Due To Stadium Renaming

Mets fans will have to wait an extra day for a chance to get the taste of last night's loss out of their collective mouths.  Major League Baseball has announced that the Friday May 14th game has been postponed to accommodate stadium changes necessitated by yet another re-naming of the Marlins home ballpark.

Name changes are nothing new to the ballpark.  Past names include Joe Robbie Stadium, Pro Player Stadium, Dolphin Stadium, LandShark Stadium, Pollo Tropical Field, Precious Based On The Novel Push by Sapphire Stadium, Chico's Bail Bonds Field & FreeCreditReport.com Field.

The stadium will make it's debut on Saturday as Tampax Pearl Stadium.  Marlins owner Jeffrey Loria sees the move as a positive.  "While we hate to have to reschedule a game, we feel this change allows us to connect with our female fans in a whole new way.", Loria told The Apple this morning. "In the end, we feel this will lead to a much more intimate experience for the fans."

The game will be made up tomorrow as part of the Marlins newest promotion: "Double Absorbent Double-Headers"

So why did they need to cancel a game just to change some signs?  Stadium construction worker Luis Cabrerra explains, "We could have done the signs in a day but the want us to change the foul poles to look like one of those lady things. Do I have to say what it's called?"

No Luis, you don't.

 All articles featured on The Apple are fictitious. No Mets were harmed in the writing of this story.