Moving sidewalks are apparently not just for airports anymore. According to at least one MLB executive, the league is considering using moving sidewalks in National League parks during interleague play in 2012 as a way to keep American League pitchers from hurting their precious little legs.
A source close to Bud Selig told The Apple, "These guys are clearly incapable of running in a straight line without their legs exploding so we have to intervene. These sidewalks will whisk players from base to base automatically. They just hold the handrails and enjoy the ride."
Early tests have apparently had mixed results.
"Apparantly we underestimated just how incredibly unathletic some of these guys were. Guys were cramping up and pulling muscles. We're looking into seats or maybe a ski-lift type thing."
If the trial run during next year's interleague play is successful the American League is looking into expanding the moving sidewalks to Designated Hitters as well. The league feels they could extend the careers of aging sluggers even further and move closer to their ultimate goal of a 72 year-old DH.
All articles featured on The Apple are fictitious. No Mets were harmed in the writing of this story. Follow me on Twitter @readtheapple
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