Sandy Alderson's Weather Dominator Malfunctions, Mets Expect To Play Tonight

Last night, the Mets beleaguered bullpen was able to get a much needed night off thanks largely to GM Sandy Alderson's weather dominator machine.  Not content to simply control a baseball team, Alderson had the weather dominator built for him by his close friend and former colleague Destro to allow him to play god with NYC's weather.

The machine can turn the most arid deserts into freezing environments, enact powerful winds and storms and unleash the fury of tornadoes, but he mostly just uses it to cause a steady drizzle on Citi Field when he feels the team needs a night off.

According to a source familiar with Alderson's domination of the weather, the original plan called for tonight's game against the Colorado Rockies to be rained out as well but the machine malfunctioned and broke last night when J.P. Ricciardi attempted to use it to make it snow on an ex-girlfriends house.   

Barring a quick repair, tonight's Mets game is on schedule to start at the original 7:10PM start time.  Ricciardi's weather dominator privileges has been revoked indefinitely.

All articles featured on The Apple are fictitious. No Mets were harmed in the writing of this story. Follow me on Twitter @readtheapple

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