Mets Closer Frank Francisco Starts Screaming Telegram Business

Everyone has someone in their life that they want to rip into for one reason or another.  Boss making you work late? Husband not taking out the trash? Neighbor's dog keeping you up?  Sure it would feel great to just have a meltdown and tear them a new one but that isn't always socially acceptable.  Fortunately, Mets "closer" Frank Francisco has the answer...let him yell at them for you.

Introducing Frank Francisco's Rage-Grams. For a small fee, Frankie will show up at your target's home or place of business and just go off on them.  Whether or not they even actually wronged you is irrelevant to Francisco.  As long as you pay he'll get the job done. Plus, Frank Francisco is completely confidential, so your victim won't even know why they are being yelled at. For an additional charge he'll even have Terry Collins get between him and the target to make the whole thing that much more confusing and terrifying for your victim.

So call 1-800-I-YELL-4-U today and let Frankie go nuclear on someone for you.  

All articles featured on The Apple are fictitious. No Mets were harmed in the writing of this story. Follow me on Twitter @readtheapple.

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