Wednesday, April 18, 2012

Concerned About Off-Color Jokes, MLB Will Now Pixelate Dillon Gee's Beard On All TV Broadcasts

There is nothing wrong with your television sets Mets fans, do not attempt to adjust your picture. Major League Baseball is controlling the transmission and the next time you see Dillon Gee, your picture will look a little different.  After being made aware of the many dirty jokes going around about the Mets pitcher's facial fiasco, the MLB has decided not to take any chances and will pixelate the pitcher's beard during all future broadcasts.
"We've been monitoring social networks like Facebook and Twitter during Gee's starts and it's been disturbing.", says MLB Commissioner Bud Selig. "I can't even repeat the stuff people are saying, but let's just say a lot of the comments revolve around 1970's Playboy magazines.  One fan even used the term Va-Gee-Na.  We just feel at this point we need to intervene."

Starting with today's game in Atlanta, Gee's beard will be strategically obscured whenever he appears on screen. Even when, like today, he's not starting.  If the camera finds Gee in the dugout or bullpen? Pixelated. If highlights from his last start are shown? Pixelated!

"The idea isn't exactly new.", said Selig. "The league actually considered using it in the late 90's on Otis Nixon's face."    

All articles featured on The Apple are fictitious. No Mets were harmed in the writing of this story. Follow me on Twitter @readtheapple.

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