Sunday, December 11, 2011

Ryan Braun: Carlos Beltran Selfishly Made Me Take Steroids

National League MVP Ryan Braun has suddenly found himself on the hot seat after testing positive for PED's.  While many expected Braun to appeal the test, the Brewers star player is taking a surprisingly honest route and confessing to what we all knew to be true anyway: That Carlos Beltran forced him to do it.

In a statement released by Braun's agent, the slugger says:
It first happened at the 2011 All-Star Game.  Mr. Beltran could tell I was upset about my injury and offered me a solution.  He told me he would give me something that would help me win the MVP and in exchange I would convince the Brewers to sign him next season to an inflated contract.  I foolishly when along with his selfish scheme to help me win and now I have to face the music for his actions. 
Carlos Beltran selfishly was unavailable for comment.  We can only assume he's off selfishly opening up a school or helping inner-city youth's somewhere.

All articles featured on The Apple are fictitious. No Mets were harmed in the writing of this story. Follow me on Twitter @readtheapple.

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