Wednesday, November 9, 2011

Jose Reyes Orders A Turkey Sandwich: Could This Be The End?

Breaking news from the Mets hot stove, The Apple has learned that Free Agent SS Jose Reyes ordered a Turkey Club at lunch today.  While we cannot confirm that this means Reyes is leaving the Mets it certainly doesn't look good.  To help us break down this breaking news we bring in SNY's Sandwich Expert Ted Berg.

The Apple: Ted, what does this Turkey Club mean for the Mets chances of re-signing their shortstop?

Ted Berg: My instinct is that it's not good. Could you tell me a little more about the sandwich? Was it a traditional, diner-style double-decker club? Cheese? Did it come with a little thing of cole slaw with pickles?

TA: Eyewitness accounts have said it was one of those double decker jobs where all the turkey resides in the lower half and the bacon lives upstairs.  Both layers have lettuce but only the lower level had tomatoes. Mayo on both top and bottom bread slices.

There was a thing of cole slaw but according to several witnesses, Reyes only picked at it.  He did eat the pickle but we were unable to confirm the type of pickle.

TB: Yeah, that to me implies either that Reyes wants to enjoy a typical diner-style sandwich one last time before he leaves New York OR that he loves New York's sandwiches so much he can't pull himself away from it. In either case, it clearly has serious implications for his free agency. The fact that he ate the pickle does not bode well, but obviously it would have been way, way worse if he had put the pickle on the sandwich.

TA: Couldn't that mean that he may re-sign then, since he loves the sandwiches so much?  Also, what does his apparent snubbing of the slaw tell you?

TB: It's possible. The only thing I'd rule out is that he orders a sandwich that has absolutely no bearing on his free-agent decision, because that's absurd. 

The cole slaw bit is hard to read: I'd say it's possible he's saving some for his agent, which could be taken as symbolic of the way he wants to give his agent as much as possible financially by taking the biggest deal OR as evidence that he's rewarding his agent for taking a smaller commission on a hometown discount.

TA: Or maybe they were out of macaroni salad?

TB: Actually, a diner industry source told me they had plenty of macaroni salad on hand.

TA: Before we let you go, is there a lunch option out there that Mets fans should take as an absolute red flag that Reyes is outta here?

TB: As for foreboding sandwiches, I'd say the language he uses matters more than the sandwich itself. If you hear him ordering a hoagie, kiss him goodbye.
For more fun stuff from Ted Berg, check out TedQuarters every day.

All articles featured on The Apple are fictitious. No Mets were harmed in the writing of this story. Follow me on Twitter @readtheappleA huge thanks to @ogtedberg for indulging me in my stupidity. 

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