Friday, August 26, 2011

Connecticut Girl Becomes First Victim Of Mets New Policy Of Banning "Unlucky" Fans From Citi Field

The next time you head out to Citi Field you may want to call first and make sure you will be let in.  Starting today, the Mets have instituted a new policy of not allowing unlucky fans to enter Citi Field.  So what is an unlucky fan?  You all know who I'm talking about; the fan that goes to dozens of Mets games only to see them lose every single time.  If the Mets get their way, those people will no longer be allowed into the stadium.

But surely whether or not you attend a game doesn't have any real effect on the game, right?  Not so fast say the Mets.  "The Mets organization is committed to doing everything it takes to improve the ballclub.", says VP Dave Howard. "While there is no proof that unlucky fans cause their team to lose a game there is also no proof that they don't.  We thought it would be safe to err on the side of caution and just not let them in."
Apparently the first victim of the new policy is a young woman from Connecticut named Shannon.  On Thursday, Shannon received a letter from the Mets advising that her tickets have been cancelled and that for the good of the team, her presence is no longer required at Citi Field.  Early Friday, signs began going up at all Citi Field entrances warning staff not to let her in.

So why was this girl singled out?

"Besides the fact that the team loses every single game she attends, we decided to look a little deeper.", says Howard.  "According to her Twitter account, her favorite player is Nick Evans.  When she is at the games he is invisible.  As soon as he got to Philadelphia and hundreds of miles away from this girl he becomes an All-Star.  Coincidence?  We think not?  Also she spells her twitter name with like nine N's and that's just weird." 

All articles featured on The Apple are fictitious. No Mets were harmed in the writing of this story. Follow me on Twitter @readtheapple. Thanks to Shannon for being a good sport.

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